Lessons from Karate for Professional Life

So at the beginning of February, I was thinking about how karate had helped me with my professional life. Of course, it’s fun to have a cool hobby to discuss with your coworkers. Karate certainly fits that bill.

However, on a philosophical level, my karate practice has aided me in more fundamental ways. I work in visual effects. As an industry, visual effects is basically the intersection between the technology sector and the film industry. Neither of these have a reputation for being easy for women to navigate. In fact, during my twenty year career, I’ve never worked for a female visual effects supervisor. They exist: I’ve seen or met three. Of the three, only one worked on a large projects with lots of 3d animation. The other two worked primarily on smaller, indie films with less computer graphics.

Seeing the success of others similar to ourselves reminds us of what is possible to achieve. My cat and his inspiration.

Once, at Dreamworks, I worked on a film with a female director. The vibe with a female at the head of the picture was a bit different, but not terribly different. For those of us for whom it is rare to see a woman in a position of leadership, she was an inspiration. She was also an Asian woman–so for persons of color, particularly Asian women, it was cool to see her at the helm. When we see ourselves in another who has achieved a great success, it reminds us of what is possible. She did a great job, too!

Work Life is Competitive

Fitting In and Standing Out

Not a Wallflower: flower photo made during a trip to Colorado in 2018

Male friends have told me it’s not easy for them to succeed, either. At least as a minority, you stand out. People remember you because you are a rarity. My male friends feel like wall flowers. Our industry also employs folks from all over the world. Coworkers from other countries experience difficulties, too. Often English is not their first language; this adds communication and cultural barriers for them. Many of us have reasons to feel like we don’t fit at work. Gender, race, nationality, religious expression, sexual orientation or identity, heritage, age, physical or mental abilities, education level and emotional challenges–this is not a complete list. Often, the things that make us unique can also make us stick out, for better or worse. The inverse is also true: fitting in too well can make us feel invisible.

Relocating, Long Hours: Understanding Your Problems Aren’t Unique

Moreover, visual effects is highly competitive. We often work long hours. More recently, folks were expected to relocate for jobs, sometimes to different countries. This has the effect of reducing the number of older people in the industry: once you’ve bought a house or had children, moving to another state or country is much more complicated. Interestingly enough, with the pandemic making it possible for more of us to work from home, that may changed. I certainly hope it will.

Visual effects, however, is not unique. Many industries ask employees to relocate, and feel competitive for workers. I was surprised, but not really, to read about how much pressure workers experience in warehouses run by Amazon. Not long ago, the LA Times ran an article about how shoppers and drivers for services like Instacart feel squeezed by both employers and the customers utilizing those services. My sister is a child therapist. About a year ago, her company converted her and others to contractors. During any given week, she doesn’t know if she will work forty hours or less. She and others like her have lost their benefits, like health insurance or paid vacation.

Working for a living, for the majority of us, is not easy.

How Can Karate Help?

How can karate help? Certainly, it provides exercise. It emphasizes both strength training and cardiovascular fitness. Keeping your body fit is a major advantage, and a fit body helps promote a healthy brain with balanced emotions. That said, I find karate’s philosophical underpinnings helpful, too. Here are lessons I learned from karate which help me in the workplace.

1. Remember to Kiai!

What is the most important part of the kiai? That it be heard! When we practice kihon, break boards or perform some particularly difficult feat, we kiai. Kiais have a twofold purpose: to focus your attention, and bring the attention of others to what you are doing.

First, a kiai is a “spirit call.” You can use it to focus your energy towards the task at hand. You give a shout, channeling your all into what you are doing at that moment. We are trained to kiai the second our hands or feet slice through objects. This forceful shout gives us a singular focus and helps us channel all of our mental and physical energy into a particular goal, be it a blow to a brick or a punch to a formidable opponent.

When you reach a milestone, let others know! Photo taken during trip to Colorado. I’m sure this goat’s buddies knew of its accomplishments.

The kiai also teaches us to claim our space and make our voices heard. This is particularly important for white belts. Newer students are often shy. They try not to bring attention to themselves. The kiai quickly teaches them to let this shyness go. The kiai announces to the rest of the dojo that these students are here, making a focused effort, and pay attention to them!

This is helpful in the workplace, too. Speak up about what you do. Claim your space at work; tell others what you are working on. Certainly let them know when you’ve accomplished a feat or reached a milestone. Let your voice be heard! This, too, is a kiai.

2. Follow Truth

For Kyokushin, “truth” is in the name of our style. In the dojo, we seek to find that truth: the truth of our own strengths and limitations, the truth that these are not fixed points, but rather marks influenced by diligent effort.

In order to improve ourselves, we must also be honest with ourselves, and each other, about where we are right now. The entire kyu-rank structure helps us mark progress by setting attainable goals. In order to advance to the next level, you learn certain kata and syllabus, do a fixed number of exercises and fight a certain number of rounds. Each kyu rank increases in difficulty, but the student, too, becomes stronger, tougher and more capable.

Part of the pursuit of truth, then, is being honest regarding your own capabilities and progress. You do this by performing tests, and submitting your skills to the assessment of others. As an advanced student, you may help judge others. You must also practice on your own, and assess your own skills. How many push-ups can I do on my toes and fists? Am I maintaining what I need for my rank? If I want to advance, how many do I need to do for my next rank? The goal of these assessments, both those we give to ourselves and to others, is this: help individuals improve.

Objectivity and Benchmarks

Note what is happening here: we agree upon objective benchmarks. For example, performing five of the pinans and yantsu correctly, sparring for six two-minute rounds, and doing sixty push-ups, sit-ups and squats, along with learning the fourth kyu syllabus are the requirements for a green belt in our style. When we hold a promotion, candidates know the requirements. They perform these as tests in the presence of others. During promotions, we demonstrate whether or not we can meet the benchmark for a particular rank. In short, we attempt to find objective measurements for progress.

You can do this in the workplace, too. Push for clearly defined, attainable goals. Encourage coworkers to do the same. Offer objective assessments couched in encouragement to others. Make self-improvement your goal and help others to improve themselves, too!

3. Defend Yourself

We hope that, most of the time, the workplace is a friendly, encouraging space where everyone is able to do their best. Often, though, this isn’t the case. Self-defense is one of the pillars of karate. Since truth is important to us, we recognize that the world can be a dangerous place. Sometimes others are intent on doing harm.

“Self-defense… begins with the belief that you are worth defending.” Our karate club’s publicity wonk texted this quote from the Jiu-jitsu master Rorian Gracie just last week along the link to a Zoom karate class. This sense of self-worth is fundamental to karate: your own life, health, well-being and improvement must be of great importance to you–or there might not be a you!

Sensei R. often tells us this: when you are attacked, the first thing you must recognize is that you in a fight. At that moment, the fight is your current reality and you need to deal with it appropriately. Often, people will not see the evidence before their own eyes and will choose to pretend everything is okay when it is not. Sometimes they mistakenly believe that if they simply act normal, life will go back to normal. This is denial, and it’s dangerous. Karate teaches us not to seek conflict, but it does gives us tools for dealing with conflict when it finds us. If you’re in a fight, fight back with everything you have: your skills, smarts, strength and spirit: kiai, kick and punch!

Appropriate Defense at Work

In the workplace, I hope, a physical altercation would be less likely. If you feel you are under attack, first assess the nature of the attack. If you are engaged in a fair battle of ideas, defend your ideas! Also listen to the defense of others’ ideas. Relax: sparring over the best approach or the best solution to a problem is a good thing, and can make you stronger regardless of who actually wins. Look for benchmarks or objective criteria in order to find the truth. Let objectivity bring you and your coworkers to the best solution. Enjoy the kumite match!

Work can feel rugged; put on your hiking boots! Defend your ideas, but listen to others. Try to keep perspective. Photo of Utah from 2019.

If you feel a coworker is questioning your judgement, state clearly your beliefs and list evidence for them. Also state your qualifications for making those judgements. Sometimes your coworkers may not be aware of your background and qualifications. They may not know why you made certain decisions. So tell them clearly. If you hear your work being scrutinized, listen to criticism, but analyze what is actually being said. What benchmarks or objective criteria are at play? Did you know about these criteria beforehand? If not, point this out. Do any of the criticisms have merit? If so, you have an opportunity to make improvements. Own these. If not, propose objective criteria.

In short, answer criticisms. Engage your critics. Defend your work. Do not let fear interfere with your self-confidence. Finally, remember we all have room for improvement.

4. Own Your Rank

Karate teaches us to own our rank. As white belts, we listen, observe and imitate. White belts bring enthusiasm to karate. Likewise junior employees or interns in a company offer enthusiasm and a fresh perspective, but they are also expected to listen and learn. Advanced karate students will ask the Sensei about finer details of karate; they help instruct less advanced students. If you are a senior employee or someone with a lot of experience, that’s your job: mentor those younger and less experienced coworkers, pay attention to the finer points that you know to look for, and point these out. Accept the responsibility that comes with your level of experience.

Time is Money: Respect it

As a woman working in an area with fewer women, I often find myself in a situation in which people assume that I know less than I do, or that I have less experience than I do. I’m short, too, and sometimes people unconsciously associate being young (inexperienced) with being small. Before I studied karate, I would listen politely in my desire to be considerate, convinced the other person is simply trying to be helpful. I might let someone explain a procedure to me that I actually understood well. After studying karate, I do not do this. I recognize reality: the company’s money is at stake. Survival for a company depends upon judicious use of money. My time is the company’s money. His time is, too. I politely interrupt now.

In a dojo, it’s easy to own your rank. We don our belts and line up by rank. It’s clear who is a shodan and who is a mu-kyu. At the office, it isn’t clear. You may have to tell someone what your position is. It doesn’t make you a jerk. On the contrary, it means you respect that other person’s time as well as your own.

Life is Short

My son’s drawing of Buddha for a school project

Karate encourages us to live in the here and now. Meditation, breathing exercises, kumite: all of these teach us to be present in the moment. Take that awareness to work with you, then bring it back home. Recognize that, if you are fortunate, you will live long enough to see changes at work, at home, in yourself and in others. Some of these changes will be good ones and others will not. Be patient with others and yourself. Empathize. When you are home, let go of work and be at home. Seek peace.

Balance, Karate and Truth

Balancing On One Foot

On Saturday, Senpai DT led class. Though it was a small class due to the holiday weekend, it was challenging. She focused on both stretching and balance.

For balance, she had us do a series of kicks on first the right, then the left. During the kicks, you are not to put your kicking foot down but go straight from one to the next. Also, we completed each kick, so you could tell one kick from another. We also focused on foot position.

For example, for the first exercise, we did a kin geri (low groin kick, with toes pointed), followed by a mae geri (front kick using the ball of the foot), yoko geri (side kick using the “knife-edge,” or side of the foot with the big toe pulled back), followed by an ushiro geri (back kick, using the heel.) She also had participants name kicks, then had us do a new series of kicks, on both sides, based on the order that we named. Over Zoom, she spotlighted each student and gave each person a chance to demonstrate their mastery of the techniques.

Balance in a Narrow Space

I found that exercise particularly challenging–definitely good for balance, strength and precision. It did not help that I was trying to perform the kicks in a narrow area of our dining room, sandwiched in between the dining table and a shelving unit full of kitchen equipment!

Normally we do karate outdoors. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, it was cooler than usual. We also had a packed schedule. Short on time, I started the Zoom class on a computer normally used for monitoring. That computer has a larger screen, but the space where it is located is not ideal for a workout. That day, I had a number of activities and errands planned. I was just happy to be able to squeeze a few minutes out of my day for karate.

Balancing Health Against Other Obligations

Readers may have noticed I missed a weekend updating this blog. If you are a weekly visitor, I apologize. Last week, I experienced the return of an old nemesis: tendonitis. As a digital artist, I spend considerable time on the computer, even when I am not housebound and forced to do everything over Zoom. My work-life is spent in front of a monitor, using a mouse to perform fine-motor motions. When we’re refining moving geometry for a shot in a television show or film, we will often need to select and change the positions of small components, or vertices. Using these, artists refine the shapes seen on screen over time. Unfortunately, doing this work without taking appropriate breaks, for too long, can lead to tendonitis.

Three weeks ago, I started a new job. The company, itself, requires employees to take appropriate breaks and even puts those breaks into the company calendar. During the lunch hour, for example, you are not to contact a fellow employee through chat, email or phone calls. (Since we all work from home right now, walking over to someone else in the kitchen, at a desk or in a common area is not an option.) The company wants to avoid burn-out and injury, and has implemented appropriate measures for this.

Consequences for Lacking Balance

At my last job, I’d slowly transitioned from doing less artist work to more coding. At this new job, I was getting to do shots–so back to primarily artist work. However, I feared I was rusty at the work and too slow. So, I ignored required breaks. Anxious to get the work done both well and quickly, I worked through lunch. I took fewer breaks. Since I’m working from home, on the honor system, there was no one to chastise me or remind me to take those needed breaks. No one, but me, knew I was not taking those breaks. The result? Within a week, my tendonitis was back.

I paid a price for letting fear and insecurity get the best of me: pain. The tendons at the base of my right hand, close to my wrist, swelled visibly. They are larger than those of my left. I sometimes experienced twinges while getting dressed, or doing the dishes. During the week of Thanksgiving, I switched to doing anything I could with my left hand. I even did my ten minute writes using my left hand. For mousing on the computer, I used my left hand.

Years ago, when I had a lot of issues with tendonitis, I habitually switched between my left and right hands, so this is not the feat that it sounds. I even spent time trying to figure out the optimal time to spend using a particular hand, and landed on a week. Once the swelling in my right hand disappears, I will return to this.

Karate Emphasizes Balance

Photo taken on camper trip, July 2019

In karate, we normally do exercises on both sides. We want to improve strength on our weak side, and flexibility on both sides. Alternating the left and right sides is simply part of kihon. Many katas also require the karateka to perform a series of motions on both sides. During ren raku or syllabus, we also coordinate punches on the same side as a kick or the “leading” leg (the leg forward), but will also practice coordinating punches on the opposite side of a kick or leading leg. Balance in strength and dexterity is built into the study of karate.

House of the Search For Ultimate Reality:
A Kyokushin Dojo

I feel a bit ashamed that I needed to re-learn the lesson of balance through the pain of an avoidable injury. As an imperfect human, however, with plenty of room for enlightenment, I also need patience with myself. When fear comes, I need to ground those fears in reality.

One defines Kyokushin as “ultimate truth.” In our dojo under Sensei R., we prefer the more Buddhist-based translation of “ultimate reality.” The idea is simply that we want to understand reality, or truth as reality. We assume that reality, because of the tricks of an individual’s mind, or habits or culture (including unconscious bias), is not obvious. Seeing what is real takes time, thought and effort.

Putting Karate’s Teachings to Work

How does this apply to me and my work situation? Well, obviously by having prescribed breaks, along with frank discussions about burn-out at work, the particular group of people I work with now are concerned about balance. On the day before Thanksgiving, our supervisor asked at a meeting, “How are you feeling? Who is burned out? Please be honest with me. I care about each of you.” Each of us answered that question. I punted, pointing out I was still in the “honeymoon phase” and hadn’t been with the company long enough to feel burned out. This was true, but of course I didn’t mention the tendonitis. Of course, this company wants employees to work hard and be focused. However, they do not want to over-work anyone and certainly do not want anyone injured or burned out. That is clear to me now.

I was not seeing that reality. Instead, I saw my past: I remembered people who, over the years, had said I needed to “pay my dues,” or who’d told me I had no business trying to work in visual effects while raising children. The schedules simply didn’t permit you to be a good parent, according to one friend. So, instead of hearing what was actually said, I heard ghosts, along with my own fears.

Wednesday August 5th, 2020

I set the alarm for 7:00am and was downstairs closer to 7:20 am. I did exercises, then rushed to be at a dentist appointment by 8:00 am. Upon returning home, I had time to stretch, clear dishes and write in my journal before clocking into work by 10:00 am.

At work, we had a “good-bye” lunch for our head of technology over Zoom. He’s really good, and my coworkers and I are all sorry to see him leave.

Yesterday, I called V, a work friend currently furloughed. (Actually I have posted pictures of her kumquats on this blog.) We discussed the departure of our supervisor. She speculated about the usual work politics issues, particularly given the current re-structuring our company is experiencing. She told me something I had no idea about, however. From an artist friend, she heard one of our business units is requiring digital artists to show up in person and work in the building. Actually, another work friend said he’d been offered a job at this business unit. He debated whether or not to take it for that reason. Moreover, she’d heard that the digital artists were given letters claiming they are “essential workers” that must be on-site. Given that our business unit is a rather large team of digital artists working from home, that’s simply not true.

According to V, the client who hired this particular unit pressured them into keeping the artists on-site for “security” reasons. Basically, they value the secrecy of their story, or the look of their characters, etc., above any risks working on-site poses to the health of artists and their families.

I don’t know what to say about the skewed values and lack of ethics at play there. From my perspective, it’s “bully” behavior. The effects house could refuse to work that way, and then the client would have to find someplace else to go. And if others are equally firm and ethical, there would be no where to go. That is one of the lessons of karate: you have to stand up to bullies. If you don’t, they’ll keep bullying.

Spider Lilies

Okay, on a less sad note, last night’s story from “Zen Flesh, Zen Bones” was a good one. An emperor convinces a Zen monk, Kakua, known for being elusive and shy, to preach at his court. The monk appears before the emperor and his court. He takes out a flute, plays a single, brief note, and disappears. All the more reason to insist we do what we can to preserve life: it is over too soon.

Monday June 8th, 2020

I did do push-ups, sit-ups and squats this morning. During my lunch hour, I called a friend and ran on the treadmill for twenty minutes. After work, I did my second set.

Mondays are my “get going again” days: Saturdays will often include karate and a walk or a run, but I do not do push-ups, sit-ups and squats unless we do them during class. On Sundays, I do try to rest, but rest, admittedly, will often include yard work, laundry, and taking out the trash.

This morning, I wrote in my journal that I was not looking forward to work. Dealing with one of the new folks in our remote office had felt weird last Thursday, and I dreaded picking up that interaction today. I thoroughly documented what I needed to do in order to solve the issue, but I also believed the problem had a straight-forward solution.

Here’s what happened: the documentation helped to bring everyone onto the same page; and the artist in the remote facility turned out to be much easier to deal with, even kind. I think he is new, and just unfamiliar with the workflow. The problem, itself, turned out to be more thorny than I’d expected. By the end of the workday, I felt like I had a working solution, however.

While writing this morning, my mind wandered back to issues we’d run into with organizing the martial arts club. I wrote, “The whole cat-herding aspect of community organizing is tiring.”

Later today, I thought of the Sisterhood at my family’s temple: they are primarily ladies above seventy, along with a couple pre-school mothers and me. Nevertheless, they hold monthly meetings, plan and cook multiple Temple holiday meals, host an annual yard sale and and often raise, during that sale and throughout the year, a good deal of money for the synagogue. Now, you might argue that, because many are retired, they have time than working, middle-aged adults and teens in school. However, they have their issues; our former president is living with a slow growing, incurable cancer. Despite this, she attends meetings regularly and does as much as any other member. The Sisterhood women often care for spouses, or grandchildren, or elderly friends. They are busy. Yet they get so much done.

They inspire me. So, our dojo community is full of smart people and none of us are over seventy or fighting cancer. We can do this.

Thursday May 7th, 2020

F told me that her close friend R, who is also an ichi-kyu and junior shodan, will be moving with her family to Connecticut. R and her brother do not want to move, from what she told F. This was the reason behind F’s sudden fatigue and illness yesterday: she felt sad.

My son B was right: they have their own stresses. I’m sad for the kids. It’s hard to move to a new place, and leave your friends, and all you know, behind. For older kids, it’s particularly difficult. How can you not be sad when your friend moves to the opposite coast?

Long-term, I know they’ll be fine. Both R and her brother are great kids; they’ll adjust and make new friends. They both excel when they apply themselves. R, in particular, is driven. She’s one of the most accomplished kids in my daughter’s circle of friends. The friend who was hospitalized earlier this year is her childhood buddy, too.

R has been put through the wringer: first year of high school, best friend hospitalized, COVID-19 shutting down their color guard competitions after all their hard practice–not to mention shutting down their school–and now her family is moving to the East Coast.

I exercised this morning, but it was difficult and I was distracted. The Japanese count eluded me more than once.

We had a department meeting at work yesterday. No real news, other than furloughs are coming. The company has a special project or two that will carry a small number of people. However, our group is no longer part of that “inner circle;” the parent company will consolidate business units; they are also staffing offices in locations where they can better take advantage of subsidies and cheaper labour. Our entire business unit may be outside the “inner circle” at this point.

Within our own business unit, the head of digital has started his own hand-picked “creature” department: younger artists more receptive to his ideas, perhaps, and less likely to raise thorny questions. In theory, this is an R&D department; however, why would the people who do the actual creature work on a daily basis, all of whom have anywhere from ten to twenty years production experience, not be conducting their own R&D? Fishy.

Finally, if there’s no work, there’s no money. If there’s no money, no one will be kept working for long. So any “inner circles” are moot. Perhaps it is natural for us to look around and imagine that others have it better. Often, those left behind are not happier or more fortunate. In addition to being talented, they are often cheaper and more gullible.

I really need to apply for jobs elsewhere. The writing has been all over the wall here even before the pandemic shut down live action production. Though I complain about this job, I have good friends there and sometimes enjoy the work. It is the only company where I’ve been able to work for a female CG supervisor. I even like being on four day weeks.

Overall, the people in our unit are good, talented, well-intentioned people. I’ve worked with some real duds during my career, and we have very few, if any, of those. Even my least favorite person there is competent, and, during a crisis, is capable of kindness. He just thinks he knows more than he actually does, and knows less about the people he works with than he should. We can remedy that.

Speaking of work, I have to log in in ten minutes.

Tuesday May 5th, 2020

Yesterday I got in my second set of exercises but I found it much harder to do extra push-ups beyond the sixty. I did maybe five to seven before stopping, and this was after resting after the sixty. Also, regarding sit-ups: I focused on lower abs. The “diagonals” challenge me the most now. Last month, I found toe-touches hard. They are still difficult but I am more accustomed to them now.

In addition, I ran for twenty minutes while listening to the Podcast, “Scattered.” The narrator, Chris Garcia, talks about losing his father, and his father’s dying wish to have his ashes scattered off the coast of his homeland of Cuba. I teared up listening to more than one episode of this on the treadmill, and I heard the final one. When they actually scatter the ashes, his religious sister leads them in singing “Blessed Assurance,” in Spanish. I recognized the music from many childhood trips to my Evangelical aunt’s Baptist church, and I have loved that song since I was young.

At work yesterday, we had a Zoom call with our top visual effects supervisor and studio head. Our department was there with the Rigging; they spent most of the time talking about issues related to rigging. They bickered, too, over why a blendshape solution that was purchased a couple years back did not get used, among other things. Most of this was not relevant to our department so we just listened politely. At one point, my husband wandered in and stood behind me for a moment. The VFX supervisor, seeing him, suddenly quipped, “S (that’s me) you have a stalker!” We laughed. I wrote in the Zoom chat: “I married that stalker.” That received a few LOLs.

The VFX supervisor did notice that my team was on-line, though we didn’t talk. My take-away from that meeting was basically this: he really trusts what the artists and supervisors close to him tell him. He wants to keep as many of us as he can, in LA. Having no paid work coming in soon limits what he can do.

This morning, I did push-ups, sit-ups and squats. I managed twenty more “chest” push-ups on my knees. I also got the Japanese count right during squats.

Karate class tonight! And exercises, second set–however many we do not do during class.

Friday May 1st, 2020

At work yesterday, we had a “town hall” over Zoom. Around May 18th, the company will start furloughs. My department lead believes we will all go on hiatus, for a number of reasons. First, our department competes for work with a second, newer department begun by our equally new head of digital. This does not bode well for us. Second, since most of us are older, seasoned artists, furloughing us sooner rather than later will be good for the bottom-line. Finally, our company simply does not have a lot of work left. The younger artists can certainly handle the handful of shots left to do.

This announcement was no surprise. A month ago, our top visual effects supervisor estimated that we had roughly a month’s work. Because we are dependent upon live action production, and these have been deemed unsafe, we have no new work in the near future.

Hannah, a coworker, stopped by with kumquats. We gossiped a bit, each of us in our fancy patterned face masks. My husband opened the door and chastised us for hanging out too long, too closely. She drove to Target, and I picked loquats from our tree for her. While she waited to go in, I arrived with the loquats. She said she planned to give some to her mother. The prolific kumquat tree belongs to her mother. So we had a “quat exchange.

We have three refrigerators: one in the garage, one in the kitchen, and a college dorm-room sized small one on the back patio. The one in the garage stopped cooling the food, and we had about four gallons of milk sour. Before you judge, remember we are actually six persons, two of whom are growing teens with big appetites, and three cats.

D and I defrosted the refrigerator in the garage, but only the freezer has really reached a usable temperature. The main body has only reached about 55 degrees, not cold enough for milk. It needs to be repaired. We had this problem roughly a year ago, and at that time, a repairman cleaned out one of the parts and got it working again. We do not want to call a repairman now but would rather wait until it is safe to have contact with strangers.

D rescued much of the milk: he made yogurt with the slightly sour milk, mint-flavored whey and fresh cheese from the milk that had separated. Chilled, the whey with mint was quite refreshing. The mint leaves came from our flowerbed. We ate fried, spiced cheese with dinner two nights in a row. On the second night, F prepared dinner, and provided fresh cheese with salt and dill along with the fried cheese, and two varieties of store-bought cheese. So we had a private cheese-tasting inspired by spoiled milk.

Thursday, April 23rd, 2020

It’s that time of day when I get to sit outside and report on my accomplishments, karate-wise. Yesterday I ran on the treadmill for twenty minutes and walked for ten. I also got in my exercises last night and this morning. I’m pretty tired lately. There are spots in my arm muscles, just below my shoulders that hurt as if I’d recently gotten a flu shot.

Aunt Karen is still recovering at home.

I haven’t been able to get a hold of Shannon, so I’m concerned. Today I’ll call her home number and see if I can get or or Louis. I hope she is okay. Initially I wasn’t worried because her symptoms sounded similar to the illness that D and I had had two weeks ago. However, long silences aren’t like her. D checked her Facebook page, but there were no recent posts.

At work, we have a townhall scheduled over Zoom. I suspect they may cut back our hours further. I’m on the fence about this job. I have several good friends there, but one of the people in charge has no perspective on the people he is in charge of.

He told our head of Character Effects, (CFX does clothing and hair for digital characters), that he wanted a “hair expert” to check his hair setup file. Now, I looked up this “hair expert” on LinkedIn. She doesn’t sell herself as a “hair expert.” She has two years experience doing hair at a film company and she’s otherwise fresh out of school. Our CFX head has about seven years experience specifically in hair and roughly twenty in visual effects; he was a groomer at two large film studios: one feature animation place and one live action place. Yet he’s not an expert?

While writing, I hear a tell-tale low, lawn-mower sound; a fairly large hummingbird just flew over my head, hovered near the wind chimes, then dove down tin the very tall dandelions.

The universe is telling me to stop complaining about work. I have work.

The timer is telling me to go to work.

Tuesday April 14th, 2020

The Back Log

I did push-ups, sit-ups and squats last night and this morning. Last night, I managed to stay up on my toes for sixty (“tricep” thirty, “chest” thirty) and did a few extras. This morning, I did ten more “tricep” push-ups on my knees. I botched the Japanese count, however, because I listened too intently to the kids’ chatter.

They joked about a picture in F’s Spanish textbook: a cartoon of an older man named Jorge, riding a bicycle.

“He’s happy about everything!” chuckled F.

“Well, you need to be, when you’re seventy. You don’t have much time left!” I said, after they showed me the illustration. It was a silly picture.

Granted, what I said wasn’t exactly true: we may have a lot to worry about at seventy. Ideally we’ve learned what’s worth worrying about and what’s not. Wisdom has got to creep in sometime. Seventy seems like a good time for it.

(So weird: while I typed this entry into the site, we had a small earth quake. I kept typing. It didn’t feel like a large one but the sound was eerie.)

I spent thirty minutes on the treadmill: five minute walk to warm-up, twenty minutes jogging and five minutes walking to cool down. I listened to “Two Dope Queens.” They interviewed Michelle Obama. She’s down to earth. She talked about empowering girls around the globe and hair care. It gives you a glimpse into the lives of others: what’s different and what’s similar. Hair talk is fun.

A power plant had an explosion in Burbank over the weekend. Our IT folks had to go into our building and reboot all the workstations. They work hard.

While working from home, we finish shots, but it takes longer and the supervisors’ expectations are a moving target. At times it’s frustrating. I have been trying to let go of whatever expectations I have had regarding what my job should be, including the expectations laid out when I started, and just do the best that I can with what it actually is.

This company pays me by the hour. I do –or will–decide –whether or not I want to keep doing this job long term. For now, I remind myself that I have control over my own fate. My coworkers and I are lucky: we have jobs and we are able to work from home. Many of our friends, family members and neighbors are not working, or their jobs put them in danger of contracting the virus. This is not the case for my coworkers and me.

Somehow my timer didn’t start. I am outside and the birds are singing. And I have eight minutes to get dressed and clock in.