Organizing people is difficult, exhausting work. Who knew? We had a major conflict last week. One committee met, ostensibly, to plan the Zoom teaching schedule for next month. Instead, they talked about curriculum, even though several people on the call were not black belts. At least two black belts on the call felt their rank was not being respected.
I got all of this second-hand from F, my daughter. The two, after that meeting, decided to quit or minimally participate less. It seems that everyone was not aware that others on the call were uncomfortable with the topic of discussion. It seems that no one, save the teens, really spoke up.
One person I spoke with, however, pointed out that this would not have happened at all if we did not have a leadership vacuum. Maybe that is a problem with karate, or even our society: we are too used to having a “strong leader,” usually an assertive man. We expect all the answers to come from that one man. We’re not able to imagine how an actual democratic system, one that gives voice to both the weak and the strong, might function. Maybe I’m an idealist, but it will not come into being if we cannot even imagine it. As for me, I’ve studied the value of democracy since I was a child. Most of us have. Why doesn’t that apply here?
That doesn’t mean we throw out rank. We are not practicing karate if we are not respecting rank. And of course the higher rank should decide what to teach, and how to teach. But if we have a lower-ranking child propose going to the beach to practice karate, or a lower-ranking adult point out some potential risk during a fire-break, why would we not listen?
It took some smoothing over and an actual curriculum meeting of the Yudansha to head off black belts defecting. Nevertheless, one instrumental person, still upset, may scale back her participation. I called her today; we had a long talk.
F was upset and pulled in Sensei. He spoke with several of us. Then he worried about over-stepping, or rather, recognized that we need to have the ability to solve these kinds of conflicts on our own. It is true: if he retires, he won’t be around to mitigate our every disagreement. We need to learn to do it.
I am worried about the fact that we keep losing people. I know it’s a process, and any time you are dealing with a large number of people, you will have politics. However, I also look at what others have done: recently, in defense of black lives, there has been sustained, organized protest in many large cities across this country. These are locally organized, grass-roots groups, people no different than us, putting on these peaceful protests. I look at our Temple’s Sisterhood, and even our little Temple. It isn’t large, but it is an organization that’s been around for over sixty years.
We can do this. Our dojo community is full of intelligent, capable, agreeable, well-meaning people. This includes the folks who did the offending last week, as well as those offended. In order for people to be comfortable proposing ideas, we have to figure out how to reject bad ideas with kindness as well as embrace good ideas. As an engineer and artist, I know this: you have to be able to come up with, and reject, a whole bunch of bad ideas before you land on a good one. If our members are afraid to propose bad ideas, then they’ll be afraid to propose ideas.We need to figure out how to make it safe for everyone to toss out ideas, bad and good. And people need to feel safe arguing with each other.
Today we did hold another organizing meeting and some of us talked about reaching out to past members. This upset others. I participated in those discussions, and found out later it was upsetting for some. One of the people who had been part of the committee meeting that went awry last begged off, so I’m also worried that person might stop attending out of fear.
And you know what else happened today? This!
But notice the crazy thing: the laundry rack fell over in such a way that it failed to bring down the smaller rack, and somehow nothing damaged the little kumquat tree. And yes, there’s a gi top and a brown belt, but somehow that garment fell on top of other clothing items. F helped me lift up the rack and shake the dirt out of the clothes. Everything was fine, though it was work to put it all right again.
It is Southern California, and the winds are strong this time of year.
