Water, Karate and Ceremony

A Different Kind of Birthday Party

Today we celebrate my daughter’s sixteenth birthday, and it will be like no previous birthday celebration. Obviously the pandemic has changed how we observe all sorts of events. However, last night, I put together a collage of photos for today’s family birthday Zoom.

While looking through the pictures, few of her birthdays, I realized, were alike. One year, she invited thirty kids from different friend groups and wanted them all to sleep over. We told her that was way too many kids. She insisted, because she’d already told them all they were invited. I negotiated with the grandparents (remember they live in our home, too). We landed on a solution: a two night birthday event. She divided her friends into two groups of fifteen. On Friday night, several came and celebrated. Some slept over but many (mainly the boys) went home. By Saturday evening, the first shift had cleared out and the second arrived.

Another year, she wanted a beach birthday party. It was too cold to swim in the ocean in January, so we had a family celebration then, and her actual friend birthday party took place on the beach, in June. We managed to pack a Porto’s cake into a freezer bag, and had cake with her on the beach. Keeping the candles lit was a feat. A friend kindly provided a tent for the party.

Ceremony and Change

For every birthday, some things were consistent: candles, a cake, gifts. Other things shifted: family and friends celebrating together, or separately, or the place and even the time. We try to be flexible. As she grew, what she needed and wanted changed, too. As a baby, mom and dad could be sufficient. Later, toys, books and sweets mattered to her, and the presence of friends grew in importance. As a teenager, time with friends became paramount. Last night, she had a Zoom movie night with a close friend. Next weekend, she’ll Zoom with the teen group. Today, we’ll have a separate family group.

Likewise, as your skills grow in karate and in life, what you need and want from it will change. Some things will remain the same: karate can remain a stabilizing force in your life, helping to keep your focus on health and well-being. As a child, you may care about trophies, contests and tournaments. When you are a young adult, a sensei might require you to compete in tournaments and ask you to demonstrate your breaking skills for the dojo during holiday events. As you age, however, you may be more drawn to the spiritual aspects of karate: meditation, teaching, perfecting your techniques. Karate provides space for and places importance on all of these things.

What is Karate Outside the Dojo?

During the pandemic, we’ve had to alter our methods for teaching and how we perform promotions. When California first went into lockdown last spring, we took a hiatus while figuring out our next step. We scrambled to keep our community together when financial disaster struck our dojo. Like the schools, we shifted to instruction primarily over Zoom. Promotions, however, were still held outdoors, in parks, along with occasional in-person classes as permitted by the county. We could not make attendance at any in-person event mandatory, since that might penalize members with elderly parents or persons with health conditions at home. Sensei R. researched the effects of the virus and its spread; he encouraged us to purchase sports masks. During workouts, he required thirty feet between participants, and substituted hard cardio work-outs for kumite matches. He found a way for promotions to take place.

Most promotions we performed, in order to avoid attention, required participants to wear work-out clothing. We only wore belts to signify rank. As the pandemic worsened in our area, we had to reduce attendance at promotions to just the persons promoting and the judges.

Right now, our promotions do not look like those we held in the dojo. Gone are the gis, sparring matches, fellow students shouting encouragement, sharing food afterwards and big parties to celebrate our accomplishments. Here’s what’s remained: beginning and ending meditation, perfecting one’s kihon, performing rank-related kata, syllabus and exercise requirements (push-ups, sit-ups and squats), hard physical and mental exertion, the ceremony of presenting an earned belt, both praise and correction from one’s senseis and senpais.

What is Karate Without Kumite?

Kumite, long considered part of the core of Kyokushin, is a shadow of what it was in our current practice. We miss it. However, we would miss lost friends and family members, and peace of mind much more, if we permitted it, and one of our members or their families contracted the virus with devastating consequences as a result.

Water as Spiritual Strength

ocean wave, taken on the California coast

Karate teaches us that life is change. When our dojo joined the IFK, we adopted the wave as our symbol and sewed it into our gis. According to the IFK’s USA site:


The International Federation of Karate logo, worn at the top of the right sleeve of the Gi, has as its central symbol a rising wave, which is taken from Saiha Kata.  This wave symbolizes the fact that no matter how great an obstacle or problem you may encounter, with patience, determination and perseverance (Osu 押忍) you can rise above and overcome it.

USAIFK LOGO.png
United States Kyokushin Karate

My daughter, by the way, loves water. When we took her to the beach as a toddler, she charged right into the surf. My husband or I needed to be right behind her to insure she did not go to deep. She loved the ocean and had no fear of it. In elementary school, she decided she would eat no fish because she, herself, must be part fish.

She still loves water and still applies its lessons of perseverance to all she does: learning and teaching karate, programming, academics and her new job as Dungeon Master.

Water as an Ancient and Enduring Symbol
Standley Lake in Colorado

Water is necessary for all life; many cultures use it to symbolize purification, renewal, wisdom, or even the flow or time or life itself; its symbolic nature is unparalleled.

The quote, “Still waters run deep” appears in Shakespeare and, according to Wikipedia, was a Latin proverb. Even the Biblical 23rd Psalm of David refers to deep water: “he leads me beside still waters” (paraphrased.)

Confucius said, “Balance is the perfect state of still water. Let that be our model. It remains quiet within and is not disturbed on the surface.”

Water is also an important symbol for Daoism, the grandfather of Buddhism, including Zen, and karate. It is used to show how the soft (water) can overcome the hard (rock). In the words of Lao Tsu:

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”

Lao Tsu
Ocean waters eroding islands from land, Oregon Coast

Mas Oyama appears to be referring to Lao Tsu’s quote when he says, “Always remember that the true meaning of Budo is that soft overcomes hard, small overcomes large.”

Since water adapts, changing its shape to fill any container that holds it, it refers to both adaptation and consistency. It takes the shape of any vessel, but remains water. Its essence is not in its shape. When heat or freezing temperatures are applied, it may vaporize or freeze. However, when temperatures are not extreme, it remains in a liquid state. In short, water changes but remains what it essentially is.

Kumite as Challenge

During our last promotion, I repeated something to my kohai that I’d hear Sensei R. say to me and many others: “On this day, you fought yourself. You had to face your own exhaustion, limitations and fear. You fought those and overcame them.”

While we do miss the ability to spar with each other, we do not find obstacles in short supply during this pandemic. The spirit of kumite: the desire to overcome any obstacle, like that ocean wave invoked by the IFK, remains with us.

In karate, and in life, we want to be like water: adapting to what we must, but holding fast to our essential nature.

Bearded Dragons, Zen Versus Learnin’, and Karate

Sunday October 11th, 2020

Personal Practice and Karate Class Summary

This past week I practiced “meditation week.” I meditated most days. Last Monday, however, I made up for missing push-ups, sit-ups and squats the previous Friday. I’m still either running or jumping rope every other day during the week. Honestly I prefer the treadmill to the jump rope. This means I need to do more jump rope sessions.

On Clark St. in Burbank; our neighbors’ sense of Halloween humor!

On non-cardio days, I still get out and walk in the neighborhood. Despite the pandemic, my Burbank neighbors have continued our Halloween tradition with creative and humorous local displays.

Last Tuesday, Sensei R taught a Tai Chi class. It was both challenging and relaxing. Friday night, N taught, and her class was surprisingly challenging: she held “contests,” to see how long we could balance on one leg, or hold a plank, or to see who was most flexible. N herself won for balance; I managed to hold the longest plank, though DJ really made me work for it, and young CF handily won the flexibility title. Rounding out the week, Senpai SL, our “weapons specialist,” taught bo staff. I had thought I was pretty good at bo staff, until I witnessed Senpai SL perform flowers and figure eights with two staves at once! He taught a great workshop: my aching shoulders bore witness to the value of the class for fitness.

Zen’s Denigration of Scholarship for Enlightenment

I’m still reading Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. Currently, I’m in the older portion, the Gateless Gate or the Mumonkan. The treatment of language is an on-going theme. Several stories illustrate the inadequacy of language to bring a monk to enlightenment. I’ve come across at least two examples of monks destroying writings. In an earlier post, I wrote about my feelings on this. One monk destroyed a work written by generations of others [pg. 108] while another, his own writing [206]. Language and reason hamper the monk’s progress in these stories.

How ironic, given the elegance of the stories themselves! In fact, Mumon ends each of his treatises with a poem. What a conundrum! We know about Mumon, his scholarship and poetry through his writing. Moreover, much of Zen’s reach outside of monasteries today results from these beautiful writings and similar works.

Zen’s debt to the written word and poetry is embedded in the earliest introduction of Buddhism to China. According to Wikipedia, An Shigao, an Indian Buddhist monk who settled in Luoyang, first taught Buddhism there.* He translated a set of ancient Buddhist texts on meditation into Chinese. So, at the birth of Ch’an/Zen in China, we already have scholarship in the form of translation. Buddhism entered China with language, writing and its logical traps.

* This is an oversimplification: he’s the first known translator of Indian Buddhist texts into Chinese; we do not know if there were others.

Enlightenment, Language and Fire

Yes, and cats, who can teach us much about living in the present

In “Blow out the Candle,” Tokusan, a student, attains enlightenment after Ryutan, his teacher, offers him a candle. It was night, and Tokusan planned to walk home. As soon as Tokusan takes it, Ryutan blows it out. The next day, Ryutan praises Tokusan; Tokusan burns his writings and leaves the monastery, presumably to teach elsewhere.

Mumon’s commentary includes a second story about Tokusan. When he arrives in the area near Ryutan’s monastery, he comes with a thick commentary. The Southerners, he believes, need instruction on the sutras. He happens upon an old woman. She asks him what he carries that is so heavy. He tells her it is his commentary on the Diamond Sutra.

She observes: “I read that Sutra, which says: ‘the past mind cannot be held, the present mind cannot be held, the future mind cannot be held.’ You wish some tea and refreshments. Which mind do you propose to use for them?” [Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, “Gateless Gate,” page 207] This encounter humbles Tokusan. He asks her for a teacher. She directs him to Ryutan. So, Tokusan begins his search when he encounters this woman. She summarizes years’ worth of scholarship the Diamond Sutra in a single sentence and an offer of tea. He ends his search by burning his own commentary, that symbol of mental entanglement.

Mumon’s Flaire and an Old Woman’s Tea

Fire as a transformative force figures prominently in these stories: the burning candle, suddenly out, plunges both teacher and pupil into the stark reality of night. Tokusan’s flaming commentary, even the old woman’s cooking fire, are metaphors for enlightenment. Enlightenment burns suddenly. It is only understood through experience.

But the poet Mumon attributes Tokusan’s entrance to the path of Enlightenment to the simple words and logic of an old village woman. Perhaps the real story here is that language, logic and learning points the way, until it doesn’t. Some concepts can be understood and studied. Others must be experienced. How do we know the difference? By observing what’s useful.

Personally I like the fact that Mumon evokes this old village woman: he shows we do not have to be monks living in monasteries to experience enlightenment. We can also be old village women who read sutras on occasion, but also brew tea and bake treats. Tokusan owes as much to her as to Ryutan.

Zoom Dinnertime Conversation on Belief, Education and Experience

Interestingly enough, we had dinner over Zoom with a good friend, G., who edited a local atheist publication for about two years. He has long held that irrational belief, or, in his view, religion, is the root cause of many of our current societal disasters and woes. A lack of understanding of history dooms us to repeat its mistakes. Adhering to superstition or simple short-term financial benefits over what we know from science has left us with both a damaged environment and damaged health.

Belated birthday gifts from G. to my husband and me; these will be fun reads.

He is undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, is in his sixties, and has health issues on top of his cancer. He’s concerned about the state of the world as well as his own health. Although he views the coronavirus pandemic as just barely a pandemic, through the lens of history, he sees it as a personal threat to one like himself. He described compared the coronavirus pandemic to both the Spanish flu and the Medieval European plague, and found it less worrisome from this perspective. However, since chemotherapy has compromised his own immune system, he’s certainly afraid of catching it. He is exactly the demographic most likely to die from it.

G. threw out a statistic about how many persons, in the US and Europe, do not accept that the earth is round, or that the earth rotates around the sun. He also gave examples from his days as a community college teacher of young adult students not knowing when Jesus lived, or when slavery in the US ended. Finally, he gave examples of ignorance among elected officials. He concluded that education, itself, is not valued enough in our country.

Reading versus Doing

G. grew up in Quebec and has a particularly dim view of the Catholic Church. We talked about how some people cannot be reached with reason. G. summed it up as follows: “If persons did not arrive at a particular opinion through reason, they can’t be swayed from it through reason.” We discussed how experience, your own or that of others close to you, influences most of us more than any amount of study or reason.

He used the shifting cultural norms around LBGTQ persons as an example. Forty years ago, most people in the US did not support gay marriage. Many viewed homosexuality as a kind of aberration. Today, a majority of Americans see it more as they view left-handedness: a minority of people are simply born this way. G. attributes this shift to the recent openness of LGBTQ persons themselves. Previously, gay persons hid their identity and now they do not. As a result, most Americans have a family member or friend who identifies that way. This personal experience with gay family and friends, in his opinion, shifted public opinion towards acceptance.

Again, enlightenment comes in the form of direct experience, and not though education, basically a form of inferred experience of others over time. I did not bring up Buddhism or Zen in the discussion with G., but suspect he would feel similar to me on combining the fruits of scholarship with fire.

Bearded Dragons: a Tangent

Kalessin reflects on herself

So S celebrated his thirteenth birthday last Wednesday, and this little critter was his present. He named her Kalessin, for the oldest dragon in Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series. We call her Kali for short.

Learning to care for a reptile is a challenge. Luckily, there is a wealth of information on-line about the care of these creatures. We also purchased an excellent book on bearded dragon care with a gift certificate from his aunt.

Last week, she was not active. We worried her terrarium was too cold. The pet shop, Burbank Scales and Tails, kindly replaced the bulb with a warmer, better one free of charge. They were ready with advice when my son called, too. This past weekend, however, our terrarium thermometer indicates the bulb heats her home too much! We have ordered a light stand, so we can adjust its distance. Now, we’re using wood blocks or wash cloths wrapped in duct tape to prop it higher.

Kali on her first day in our home

I am thankful that we can rely on the experience of others, in the form of books, on-line articles and discussions with the knowledgable staff at Burbank Scales and Tails. Given none of us have prior personal experience in reptile care, we’re glad others are willing to educate us.

What does any of this have to do with Karate?

Everything! This is a karate blog, so of course we’ll examine how it relates to karate. Learning karate, like achieving enlightenment or learning to care for a pet bearded dragon, is half personal experience and half learning from others. Studying from karate is not the same as practicing karate. Practicing karate, however, requires the study of karate to be complete.

I recently finished Oyama’s book, “This is Karate.” So much great information is contained in its pages, as well as cool photos of Oyama and his students. So much Japanese terminology, history and philosophy lives within those pages. Reading it gives me impressions of our style’s founder that I would not have had otherwise. I picked up Oyama’s book, however, after learning who Oyama was in Sensei’s dojo.

That said, there is no substitute for attending my Sensei’s physical dojo for roughly eight years, and practicing with my instructors and fellow students. I’ve learned how to block better by fending off strong blows from TF. Watching Sensei M showed me just how hard a scholar can kick! Our dojo has had many strong women and intelligent men among its udancha, and each of them imparted some wisdom to me, through words, demonstrations, blows, blocks, kicks and their grace in the face of conflict or hardship.

I owe a lot to my Sensei. He showed me how wise, disciplined and strong children could be. It was a joy to watch S and F grow under his instruction. He showed me how to break bricks, and how to reach 100 push-ups, sit-ups and squats. He showed me how to earn a black belt. Most importantly, he demonstrated why the study of karate was valuable.

From Sensei’s Bonsai Class Exhibition in December 2017

Friday August 7th, 2020

Tomorrow is the big day! Today I am not doing exercises, unless we do some during the karate Zoom class tonight. Sensei said our belts will not have IFK markings, but will have something to distinguish them as his style. So that’s interesting.

Karate as a sport started relatively recently. Masutatsu  Ōyama founded his own dojo around 1956. He formally named his style Kyokushin in a ceremony in 1957. American football, in contrast, morphed from rugby around 1875, according to the History Channel’s on-line article on football. Shotokan’s founder, credited to Funakoshi by Wikipedia, lived from 1868 to 1957, to contrast with Oyama. For the first time this year, the Olympics included karate. Due to the pandemic, the Games have been rescheduled to the summer of 2021. While karate’s roots may be ancient, karate as a sport is relatively new. Kyokushin, itself, is as young as its founder.

Now that F and I are approaching our shodan tests, I see how fluid, and non-standardized these institutions are. Karate organizations are people, their approaches and interpretations of history. Even Oyama, in his book, sometimes argues with invisible colleagues over the merits of callouses or the practicality of certain skills. He occasionally laments the loss of more rare skills. He saw karate as changing, and changed it, himself.

So karate is international, with a long, illustrious history. Like Zen, small groups of individuals teach others one on one. Instructors and senpais transmit knowledge in a personal way, tailored to kohai. Yes there are standards, but these are subject to constant interpretation, evaluation, re-interpretation, re-discovery and refinements. There are tug-o-wars over authenticity, alongside both useful, and not-so-useful, innovations. Like any living art, it changes, growing up and out from where it started, but it still remains rooted in fertile soil.

Sunday June 7th, 2020

Organizing people is difficult, exhausting work. Who knew? We had a major conflict last week. One committee met, ostensibly, to plan the Zoom teaching schedule for next month. Instead, they talked about curriculum, even though several people on the call were not black belts. At least two black belts on the call felt their rank was not being respected.

I got all of this second-hand from F, my daughter. The two, after that meeting, decided to quit or minimally participate less. It seems that everyone was not aware that others on the call were uncomfortable with the topic of discussion. It seems that no one, save the teens, really spoke up.

One person I spoke with, however, pointed out that this would not have happened at all if we did not have a leadership vacuum. Maybe that is a problem with karate, or even our society: we are too used to having a “strong leader,” usually an assertive man. We expect all the answers to come from that one man. We’re not able to imagine how an actual democratic system, one that gives voice to both the weak and the strong, might function. Maybe I’m an idealist, but it will not come into being if we cannot even imagine it. As for me, I’ve studied the value of democracy since I was a child. Most of us have. Why doesn’t that apply here?

That doesn’t mean we throw out rank. We are not practicing karate if we are not respecting rank. And of course the higher rank should decide what to teach, and how to teach. But if we have a lower-ranking child propose going to the beach to practice karate, or a lower-ranking adult point out some potential risk during a fire-break, why would we not listen?

It took some smoothing over and an actual curriculum meeting of the Yudansha to head off black belts defecting. Nevertheless, one instrumental person, still upset, may scale back her participation. I called her today; we had a long talk.

F was upset and pulled in Sensei. He spoke with several of us. Then he worried about over-stepping, or rather, recognized that we need to have the ability to solve these kinds of conflicts on our own. It is true: if he retires, he won’t be around to mitigate our every disagreement. We need to learn to do it.

I am worried about the fact that we keep losing people. I know it’s a process, and any time you are dealing with a large number of people, you will have politics. However, I also look at what others have done: recently, in defense of black lives, there has been sustained, organized protest in many large cities across this country. These are locally organized, grass-roots groups, people no different than us, putting on these peaceful protests. I look at our Temple’s Sisterhood, and even our little Temple. It isn’t large, but it is an organization that’s been around for over sixty years.

We can do this. Our dojo community is full of intelligent, capable, agreeable, well-meaning people. This includes the folks who did the offending last week, as well as those offended. In order for people to be comfortable proposing ideas, we have to figure out how to reject bad ideas with kindness as well as embrace good ideas. As an engineer and artist, I know this: you have to be able to come up with, and reject, a whole bunch of bad ideas before you land on a good one. If our members are afraid to propose bad ideas, then they’ll be afraid to propose ideas.We need to figure out how to make it safe for everyone to toss out ideas, bad and good. And people need to feel safe arguing with each other.

Today we did hold another organizing meeting and some of us talked about reaching out to past members. This upset others. I participated in those discussions, and found out later it was upsetting for some. One of the people who had been part of the committee meeting that went awry last begged off, so I’m also worried that person might stop attending out of fear.

And you know what else happened today? This!

But notice the crazy thing: the laundry rack fell over in such a way that it failed to bring down the smaller rack, and somehow nothing damaged the little kumquat tree. And yes, there’s a gi top and a brown belt, but somehow that garment fell on top of other clothing items. F helped me lift up the rack and shake the dirt out of the clothes. Everything was fine, though it was work to put it all right again.

It is Southern California, and the winds are strong this time of year.

Tuesday May 26th, 2020

Summary Friday to Monday

For the past three days, Friday through Memorial Day, a group of us called each other and other dojo friends. We brainstormed: proposed ideas to each other, vetted and debated each other’s ideas, asked each other’s opinions about how to preserve the dojo community.

We originally debated whether or not we could take over the building. Three people I spoke with had estimates on the rent that more or less correlated. Keeping the building during a pandemic that could potentially drag on, however, made less and less sense. It seemed to make more sense to let the building go, but preserve the community. How to do that?

At the beginning of Friday night’s karate class, Sensei also announced he’d been planning to retire, and the pandemic accelerated his timeline for this. That was another wrinkle: even if the dojo was able to continue without a building, what would we do if Sensei retired?

What do we actually want? We want to keep the dojo community together. Lots of legal entities could be suitable: an LLC, a co-op, a club. The dojo community still needs Sensei. He’s the force that brought us together and, along with karate, binds us together. So we want Sensei. He will retire, so we do need to form a plan for the community to continue after he retires. We need his guidance through that transition.

Short-term, we want to buy time. I also believe that, if we want Sensei’s help in preserving the community, and we want his guidance through this transition, we have to make that possible for him, given all that he currently has to juggle, and we have to make it worth his while.

My first response to the dojo closing was that this was a funding issue, and you solve funding issues with funds. Summer camps are not allowed due to the pandemic. No summer camps meant a significant budget shortfall for the dojo. Families are dropping out due to their own financial issues, which is further squeezing the dojo.

I just started calling dojo people I knew, and felt them out for how they were doing financially. If one or both persons were working, I just asked, “Hey, if we could get some money together to preserve the dojo, can you help?” I asked people to call other people, or often enough, they volunteered to do so.

Everyone I called was kind and up front about their abilities. And we debated: how best to spend whatever money we collect? How can folks help who do not have funds to put in? How do we keep everyone engaged?

We held a Zoom, defined our goals, and made both a short-term and a long term plan. The plan: see if we can hire Sensei as a consultant, and get some kind of organization in place. Quick.

Wednesday May 20th, 2020

Sometimes the Way isn’t clear. But Lao Tsu says, “A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent upon arriving.”

Sensei sent email to the dojo membership saying that, due to the impact of the pandemic, he cannot safely, or in a way that is financially sound, open the dojo and plans to close it permanently.

The grandparents also spoke with us about possibly moving out, but I think we talked them into staying for now. They worried about us feeling limited by their presence.

I did write for ten minutes this morning, but don’t have it in me to post it given what I know now. Yes I exercised–hoping it will keep me sane.

I didn’t know what to say to Sensei. I sent him this picture:

along with the one above. Maybe I should send him the Lao Tsu quote. How to comfort and inspire the one who normally does that for you and many others? How do you teach your teacher peace, particularly when your own heart is a turbulent ocean?

Wednesday April 8th, 2020

The Back Log

I did do push-ups, sit-ups and squats this morning and last night. I have a cat here trying to help me write. Cafe, a black and white tuxedo cat, sits on the recently sanitized table before me. He chases my pen if I am not petting him. He’s very sweet, it goes without saying, since he’s a cat.

We did not have karate last night. Sensei doesn’t have the best reception at his place. Given the puckets of water falling from the sky, which we are grateful for, it is also not a great time to get out and drive, nor is it a good time to expose yourself to getting sick during a pandemic.

But F ran the Pinans with me, after I did my exercises, and S ran Gekisai Dai, Gekisai Sho and Yantsu with me. We tried to remember the one with all the stances, Tzuki no, but we should probably look it up. It was difficult to remember.

Also, to complicate matters, we each imagined different orientations for where we were, that is, which direction was “facing forward.” Basically, we needed to mentally map the space of the dojo onto my bedroom, the space where we practiced karate. We discussed where the dojo “mirror” would be. We decided to align the dojo’s “front door” to the bedroom closet. The back door, then must be the balcony door . This left the dojo’s wall facing the mirror to align with the bedroom’s back wall. Nevertheless, it was good to practice karate.

Sensei texted and both F and I checked in with him. F is also interested in doing an on-line diary for her Shodan preparation.